1. Don’t Compare Yourself To Others
A common thing that we all do is compare ourselves to other people, unintentionally. By doing so we waste energy we could use to put into ourselves, and to embrace the different qualities we possess.
We don’t see our full potential and our own value, which is a habit that we can fix. It’s important to realise that we are all unique and hold a specific purpose in the world. Life is about finding yourself and creating yourself, and once you stop comparing yourself to others, you’ll experience an overwhelming sense of self love you should’ve been giving yourself all along.
2. Capture Things That Matter
This is different for all of us. We all have our own passions, things that we adore and experiences we wish never ended. By capturing moments that bring us happiness, it allows us to feel grateful and fortunate. My all-time favourite thing to capture is sunrises and sunsets. If I’m driving and the sun is setting, you better believe I’ll pull over to snap the beauty that the sky creates. It’s kind of become my thing.
3. Don’t Lose Yourself In Other People
Loving someone wholeheartedly, whether it’s your friend or partner is great – there’s no doubt about it. But once we start to lose ourselves in others, we fail to maintain a strong sense of inner independence. Nothing is ever set in stone and you have to remember that you’re not half of a person. Healthy relationships don’t consist of two incomplete and broken souls which together make one whole person. I don’t need someone to ‘complete me’, but thanks all the same.
4. Your Happiness Depends On You
You shouldn’t rely on others for your own happiness, that’s probably the first way to break your own heart.
5. Embrace Your Flaws
We all have our own insecurities and we have the tendency to pick at them whenever we get the chance. Whether it’s the fact you don’t like your stomach, or you hate the fact you’re an over thinker. The more you hold on to your insecurities, the less happy you’ll be. Here’s the thing though, you should embrace your individuality and not wallow in your differences because surprise, it’s what makes you who you are. Get your embrace game on and remember that perfection is an unattainable ambition.
6. Practice Self Love
This is something that schools don’t teach you and although it doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a journey of self-love and appreciation for yourself. Take it day by day and fake it till you make it if you have to! You have an outfit that compliments your body? Sweet, acknowledge it! Your hair look good today? It does!
7. Take Time For Yourself (be selfish)
When I say be selfish, I don’t mean be selfish to the point where you’re acting like an asshole. There’s a line, know where that is. Introverted people, (me for example) usually need more time and space than others because social interaction exhausts us, and we tend to find comfort in our own company. Extroverted people on the other hand, thrive on social gatherings, and they don’t mind hanging out with friends a fair bit. Sometimes we need a day or two to ourselves where we can rest our minds and de stress in order to function properly. We can’t be on the go all the time, and we shouldn’t feel bad about it because we need our rest, physically and mentally.
8. Use Your Energy To Spread Kindness & Positivity
As humans, we tend to waste a lot of our energy on the bad and negative things throughout life. Whether that’s a past situation that seems to greet us at 1am when we’re trying to dream of unicorns and rainbows, a so called friend treating you like garbage, arguments and so on, you catch my drift. Holding on to things that have once caused you pain and suffering is not a good way to live, it builds your emotions up inside of you in a way that when you meet them, it’ll hurt you more than a best friend who decided to cut you off in the most cowardly way possible, and trust me, it hurts a bit.
This isn’t me saying that you should be a positive, beaming ray of sunshine 24/7, I don’t want you to shoot rainbows and stars out of your ass all the time because that’s unrealistic, I’m just saying that if there are moments where you can spread kindness, and be positive, you should take them. The world already has enough of people that intend to make it hell for others, one being a world leader that looks like he’s been soaked in fake tan for 7 years and talks like he’s got a piece of Lego stuck in his racist, homophobic, sexist throat. Be the good that you want to see in the world.
9. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of focusing your attention on a current moment. It’s a key element when it comes to happiness as it reduces the feeling of overwhelming stress and anxiety. Life can be a bit chaotic sometimes, and we all need an outlet to cope with the chaos. By practicing mindfulness, it positively impacts your physical and mental well-being. All you need to do is devote a little bit of time every day, and be kind to your mind! There’s an app that I used called Headspace, and it’s possibly the best app I’ve ever downloaded. I initially installed it to help with my sleep, but it enables you to practice mindfulness in a way that suits you.
10. Adulthood Isn’t What It’s Made Out To Be
So I may have watched (and still continue to watch) f.r.i.e.n.d.s, which quite frankly has given me unrealistic expectations of life in your early 20’s. So I’m a little bit pissed off that I don’t have a cute apartment and a group of friends that I hang out with every day at a coffee house, where we forget about our jobs and catch up on gossip. But I’ll get over it. Anyway, growing up is actually harder than we all thought, and we learn as we go and pave a future for ourselves. But that consists of a lot of hard work, a lot of lessons and the occasional breakdown into a glass of white wine, or a microwave Quorn chicken tikka masala.
What I’m saying is, is that it’s completely normal to feel like sometimes you’re not in control because life has a funny habit of screwing us over from time to time. Although we can’t control that, we can control the way we react to things that test us. It’s all about growing and letting yourself bloom. Everyone works at their own pace, and if someone the same age as you seems to be in a better, more stable position than you right now, that’s fine too. Our journey into adulthood and through it in fact, is different to everyone else’s, you just have to learn to embrace it and enjoy it. You’re the one who has the power to create and design your life and how you want it to be.
11. Don’t Change Because Other People Want You To
In today’s society, there is a certain way we should talk, act, and behave. For women especially, we get shamed for having a bit of fat on our body, because god forbid we actually eat. No offence, but if you think I’m going to sit in a restaurant and order a salad, you can piss right off. Anyway, there are a lot of judgmental assholes in the world so matter what we do, there’s no pleasing them. If someone doesn’t like something that you do, or a quality that you have – you can show them the door. Preferably one that leads down a drain, or to hell, either is fine. Don’t change yourself because like I’ve been saying throughout this whole article, there’s only one you, and if someone doesn’t accept you for everything that you are, lose them.
12. Appreciate The Little Things
We sometimes forget to appreciate the little things people do for us, whether that’s a stranger smiling at us on the street, or your friend making sure you get home safe, or your sister buying you a cactus and telling you to name it after a guy who broke up with you because he was a prick. Learn to be appreciative of your friends and family because life is better with kindness and positive energy.
13. Don’t Hold On To The Past
Only focus on the present and the future. It’s harmful to yourself to hold on to things that have already happened and you have no control over it. Learn from it and grow from it.
14. Older But Wiser
Do you ever just have a conversation with someone and offer advice, realise it’s A* wisdom and think to yourself “where the fuck did I learn that?”. Growing older has it’s perks and picking up words of wisdom from family, friends and your grandma every once in a while pays off.
15. You Don’t Have To Do What Everyone Else Is Doing
With the social world taking over everyone’s lives, it’s easy to think that you should be hopping on trends and bandwagons because it’s what everyone else is doing. You don’t need to edit your photos on the gram to make yourself look prettier, you don’t have to be mean to people on Twitter because it’s ‘cool’. Do your own thing, it’s what makes you unique! (But if that is eating pizza with pineapple on it, I might just be judging you a tiny bit).
16. Do Not Settle For Less Than You Deserve, Know Your Worth
This goes for everything in life, from your job, to friends and partners. Within the last year I’ve realised my own self worth, and with this it’s blessed me with a lot of confidence. Once you learn how much you are worth, it’s a game changer. If you have a friend that doesn’t appreciate you for you and is actually a covert narcissist that is manipulative, it’s time to cut the string and move on to better things, and better friends.
17. Find Your Voice And Use It For The Better
This is coming from someone who grew up shy, with people constantly telling me that being quiet and not overly talkative is a bad thing. It took me years to understand that other people’s opinions do not matter and I should not let it affect me, what I do or who I am. With this mindset, I learned to speak up even if it scared me.
This also means to take no shit. And as the saying goes, practice makes perfect. In all seriousness, to everyone who has judged me based on my quiet and reserved nature – being quiet and shy is not a reflection on my intelligence, confidence or my ability to speak up about things, please for the love of fucking god, understand this.
18. Learn From Your Mistakes
Mistakes enable us to learn from them and grow from them. I should take note of this when I walk into a supermarket and think I’m too good for a basket or trolley, and end up trying to juggle 12 items, 10 of which weren’t even on my grocery list in the first place.
19. Sometimes You Just Gotta Nap, Man
Power naps are where it’s at. Napping can be a dangerous game, you either take a 20 minute power nap feeling refreshed ready to take the world on at 9pm, or you’re disorientated, can’t remember your own name, where you are or what day it is. Guess that’s the fun of it, though.
20. Spice Up Your Life
Sometimes you just have to listen to the Spice Girls with your mum and sister so you can uncontrollably snort laugh and shake off any negativity the week has tried to throw at you. That or a bit of Shania Twain with your best friend, because let’s face it – ‘Man! I Feel Like A Woman’ will forever be a banger.
21. Experience Life Rather Than Just Survive It
I’ve learned to take in things around me and be in the moment without worrying too much. I don’t think there’s any sort of trick to accomplish this, but if there’s something you’ve always wanted to do that you’ve been scared of, or you want to learn something new, make it an opportunity and don’t wait for it. You can make things happen for yourself, rather than binge watching The Big Bang Theory and sipping on a delightful cup of tea.
22. Work To Be The Best Version Of Yourself
Each day is a day to better ourselves. We’re never the same person we were 6 months ago, we can always evolve if we choose to.